


all of these stars will guide us home

by imwhatthekidscalltrash



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Credence Barebone Heals, Credence Barebone Lives, Fix-It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Newt Has Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Protective Credence Barebone, the only characters who are actually in this are credence and newt, the others are just mentioned i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 10:11:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9543191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imwhatthekidscalltrash/pseuds/imwhatthekidscalltrash
Summary: newt knows the ugly truth. credence did not survive what happened to him in the subway. but still, he sees the boy everywhere he goes. and one night in amsterdam, after trying to forget it all…newt  s h a t t e r s.credence has been in hiding since he found himself alive, wandering through a forest miles away from the city. but when he hears a familiar voice calling out to him almost halfway around the world…credence can’t s t a y a w a y.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this running on four hours on sleep and headphones full of ed sheeran
> 
> this is written in a version of the movie where newt met credence before the subway and got to know him a little better as well

>   
>  so open your eyes and see  
>  the way our horizons meet  
>  and all of the lights will lead  
>  into the night with me  
>  and I know these scars will bleed  
>  but both of our hearts believe  
>  all of these stars will guide us home  
>  a l l o f t h e s t a r s // e d s h e e r a n  
> 

  
he’d gone to amsterdam in hopes of meeting a woman who dealt primarily with nifflers, seeing as his own had managed to get sick. he was meant to stay a night or maybe even two, but decided to stay for two reasons. the first was that, after all he’d been through in the past few months, he felt he needed a well earned break.

and the second one was… the stars.

he’d never been very good at astronomy in hogwarts, nor had he been very interested in it, either. but the sky was clearer here than it had been in new york, and although since the incident he’d been places where the stars looked brighter, he hadn’t appreciated it. he hadn’t been looking up, but rather down, at his sheets upon sheets of research.

after what happened in new york, newt had decided to cope by throwing himself into his work, in hopes of forgetting. but that just made things harder, because whenever he looked away from his work, all he could see were the faces of those he’d encountered in the city.

he remembered jacob whenever he passed a bakery. he remembered queenie whenever he was offered a homemade meal, which wasn’t often. he remembered tina whenever he looked at the hustle and bustle on the streets. he remembered graves whenever somebody’s voice sounded harsh. but then… but then there was credence.

credence was _everywhere._

he saw him in the way the wind rustles the leaves on the trees. he felt the cold, vacant stare of his obscurus when his fingers tensed up as he touched the snow. he could taste the warm brown of his eyes when he drank hot soup, burning through him and warming him up on the inside. 

he heard him when he flipped the page of a book, remembering the sound of sliding paper as he held those leaflets he was always handing out. and he could smell his hair whenever he passed through a marketplace and found homemade barsoap, like the kind his mother made.

anything and everything was a memory of credence, an echo. but whether that was a good thing or bad, newt had yet to determine.

so when he looked up at the stars, and realised that he was once again reminded of the boy, he couldn’t stop himself from crying for the first time since he’d left new york.

he felt the first tear trickling down his cheek, and immediately sat down again, trying to stop himself from what he knew was coming, even though deep down he knew it was inevitable.

he hadn’t had one of these attacks in years, and he’d hoped he’d gotten past them. and yet, here he was, slowly crawling up into a ball in the unfamiliar, wooden chair, and letting sobs begin to rack through his body. 

as he sobbed, newt tried to form a coherent sentence, trying to tell himself, “calm down. none of it was your fault, none of it was your fault.” but he couldn’t, because regardless of whether it was his fault or not it didn’t change the fact that he missed tina and queenie and jacob and credence, and _merlin’s beard credence i’m so sorry i couldn’t save you i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry, won’t you ever forgive me?_

“credence,” he managed to gasp out instead as he fell to the floor, trembling and struggling to breathe as he curled into himself, “c-credence… cre-d-dence…”

he could barely breathe as he shut his eyes, remembering all the good dreams and nightmares he’d had about all of them, about grindelwald, about the way those malice filled eyes seemed to haunt him, ripping his peaceful dreams to shreds like a wolf devouring its prey. 

he forced his eyes open again, staring out the window and up into the stars, and realized between gasps for breath and his trembling that he could see credence in them. he could see the obscurus as the dark trying to devour the stars, and credence as the flecks of light fighting to shine throughout the night, lighting the way for those who were lost, much like he was at the moment. 

he saw the way the stars seemed to shine even brighter as his vision unfocused, blurred with his tears and he shuts his eyes again because it makes his chest tighten even more, knowing that the particular type of shine he’s thinking of can no longer do so, because he’s gone, and not him or tina could save him.

he wanted that light to shine again, and he wanted to stare at it for so long he ended up going blind from it.

but at the moment, his only light was the lamp at his desk and the stars in the clear sky. 

he allowed himself to imagine the feeling of hands on his back, straightening him up, forcing him to sit. he allowed himself to hear that quiet voice soothing him, with soft murmurs of “it’s okay, it’s okay,”; to feel those hands lift him into someone’s lap, cradling him like a child. he allowed himself to smell the familiar scent of barsoap in credence’s now longer hair. and he allowed himself to feel the sound of lips against his forehead, pressing kisses to the skin in reassurance. 

he allowed himself the luxury because he had never had the opportunity to actually feel something like that, and because he was _desperate_ to be able to breathe again, despite actually feeling slightly suffocated by the imagination behind credence’s strong grip. 

still, he managed to get his breathing in control, and he felt the panic of overwhelming sadness subside enough for his train of thought to get back on track, and he kept his eyes closed, out of fear that when he opened his eyes, everything he was feeling, credence holding him, feeling his breath fan across his skin, the brush of his hair tickling his nose, would all be gone, that he’d be on the floor again, still in a ball, in the fetal position.

he supposed now that he’d composed himself enough his hallucination of the dead boy would disappear regardless of whether he opened his eyes or not, but nevertheless, he kept his eyes shut tight, counting how many seconds passed until the phantasm faded away, proving that it had never been real in the first place.

one minute passed. he clenched his jaw, wondering why his mind was prolonging this torture.

two minutes, soon enough. newt felt his chest tighten again, and he bit down on his tongue to keep another sob from escaping.

three minutes, and newt had nearly lost count. but as he began to think the irrational, he refused to open his eyes.

four minutes, and newt felt his breath catch in his throat. could this possibly be real? 

he felt himself tense up, and soon enough every hair on newt’s body stood straight up.

“newt… are you okay?” 

newt’s eyes snapped open, and he was greeted with a face he hadn’t seen since he left new york.

 _“credence,”_ newt marvelled in a whisper, and credence flashed him a soft smile, the first one he had ever seen from this boy, this absolute miracle. 

“...in the flesh.”

in that moment, newt lost all control he’d had over his body.

he lunged up at the younger boy and managed to tackle him, effectively straddling him. and he didn’t know what came over him, but one moment he was locking eyes with the brown ones he’d missed ever since the subway and the next his eyes were shut tight, and credence’s lips were against his and he forgot completely about his breakdown.  
credence’s chapped lips tasted sharp and even burned slightly, to which his mind, which at the moment, was going into overdrive, instantly responded: _peppermint._ he felt the boy melt underneath him, his hands going up to run through newt’s hair, and he shuddered, melting into credence’s touch. 

his hands went to caress credence’s face, holding it gently, soaking in the feeling of credence’s lips against his, the dry skin of their lips sticking to each other’s, listening to the soft smacking and puckering sounds their mouths made.

soon enough though, newt was pulling away, panting hard. his heart felt like it was in his throat and would jump out of his mouth at any moment. “h-how did you… how did you get out, credence?” 

credence, who’s hands were still in his hair, breathing just as hard as he was, pressed his foreheads against newt’s, their noses bumping together slightly. “i ask myself the same question every single day.”

newt thought to that morning in the subway, when he’d sworn credence had died and he realized that he’d come across another obscurial, and failed this one as well. he searched his memory as he locked eyes with credence, who was sprawled underneath him, until finally he remembered, as he was speaking with tina before saying goodbye to jacob: a black wisp of smoke floated past the both of them, even after what was left of the inky obscurus had already dissipated minutes ago.

he remembered that slight flicker of hope, hearing his own voice falter for a moment as his eyes followed it.

“there was a piece of your obscurus that survived,” newt mumbled, his eyes trailing away from credence’s stare, to nothing in particular, “you must’ve escaped through that.”  
credence furrowed his eyebrows, and broke his gaze, thinking for a moment. during these few seconds, newt drank in the differences between the broken boy he’d met in new york and the young man he was on top of now.

his hair was longer now, not very much, but enough to distinguish the difference between now and the bowl cut he’d had when newt had met him. underneath his button up shirt and work pants, both dirty with soil. he must’ve lived away from the city, newt deduced, probably in a forest or away from big cities. 

from what he could tell underneath the dirty shirt, credence was leaner, and his body was more built, signalling that he had been doing labor during the time he was in hiding. his face was thinner as well, his already prominent cheekbones protruding even more, and newt, ever the mother hen, asked himself whether he’d been getting enough to eat or not. 

“o-oh,” was all credence responded, in a breathy gasp, and newt bit his lower lip before releasing it. “this is an absolute miracle, credence. i thought… we all thought that you w-were dead.” newt watched as credence’s eyes dropped to his lips for a split second, and newt found himself glancing at credence’s. 

“i thought the same,” credence said, his voice barely above a whisper. “when i woke up, i was alone. and i asked myself if i’d gone to hell like ma always said i would… b-but then i realised that there’s no possible way hell was so green. and i also realised i’d managed to survive.

“i was in shock for a few hours,” credence continued, his eyes trained on newt’s, until he looked away. to the window, newt understood when he followed credence’s line of vision. “until night came, and i felt how cold i was getting. so i did what i could, and managed to pull through the night without freezing. and the next day, i went looking for any town i could find. i’ve been hiding there ever since.”

newt flashed him a soft smile, and credence finally lifted his head enough for newt’s lips to crash against his once more. but this wasn’t a harsh crash, no, this was graceful, like waves beating against the shore, an eternal game of coming and going softly. 

credence’s hands slid to newt’s back, and newt felt a small whimper bubble up from his throat, which credence caught in his mouth with ease. newt’s hands, however, stayed where they were, feeling the milky skin of credence’s thin face.

the kiss was lazy yet urgent, neither of them daring enough to speed it up. all in good time, newt thought as credence gasped into his mouth. but a thought at the very back of his head rushed forward to the front, forcing newt to pull away, much to both newt and credence’s displeasure.

“credence,” newt panted in an attempt to catch his breath, and he swore he heard the younger boy whimper. “credence, how did you get here?” 

to which credence’s eyes widened for a second. “wait… where are we?” he asked, realising the difference between where he had been less than an hour and now.

“we’re in amsterdam, credence. the netherlands.” 

“what?” credence took in a sharp breath, his eyes widening even more.

“so unless you managed to apparate from america to europe…”

“canada, actually.”

“c-canada?”

“that small wisp of smoke must’ve travelled far,” credence explained, “when i went into town and asked where i was… they told me we were in canada.”

“canada,” newt mumbled, mostly to himself. “you managed to survive long enough to cross into canada, credence barebone.”

credence chuckled softly. “there’s still more i need to tell you, newt,” he told newt, shaking his head.

newt felt a smile grow across his face, letting his hands slide across credence’s skin, until they fell away and rested on credence’s chest as credence sat up. his theories were proven true as he felt credence’s firm chest rise and fall underneath newt’s hands. 

“but for now, you need to rest,” credence murmured, removing his hands from newt’s back, and newt sighed at the loss of contact. “you can walk fine, right?” credence asked, and newt nodded. “i-i think so,” he murmured, and he slowly stood, holding himself up with the chair he’d fallen out of. 

credence stood shortly after newt, and grabbed his hand in support. “lean on me if you want,” he suggested, and newt had to do a double take, because credence was as tall as him, if not slightly taller, and he recalled the one thought he’d had when he met him in new york: _if he just stood straighter, and held his head high, how tall would this boy be?_

and here he had his answer, as credence stood next to him with newfound confidence, something he hadn’t been expecting, but, in retrospect should’ve seen coming. credence handled his words smoothly now, no longer speaking at a low volume in fear of being seen or stuttering with nervousness laced between his words. 

as he helped newt lie down, seeing as he was already dressed comfortably enough to sleep, credence’s eyes locked with newt’s once more, and newt spoke up. “credence,” he began softly, “what else are you going to tell me?” 

but when credence began to pull up a chair, opening his mouth to speak, newt interrupted him, and probably sounding harsher than he meant. “w-what are you doing?” he implied, and credence’s calm facade began to fall away slightly.

“oh… do you want me to go? because i can try and find a way to go back, if you’re not comfortable, n―”

“oh, n-no, credence! not at all. i just… do you want to sleep in the bed with me? th-there’s more than enough room, believe me.”

even in the darkness, newt could see how the tips of credence’s ears turned red, along with the rest of his face in a timid flush. but after a second, credence nodded, and slipping off his shoes, ignoring his pants or shirt, he slid under the covers alongside the older man, their eyes meeting for what seemed like the millionth time in the darkness, even though they both found each other’s eyes as captivating as the first time they met all those months ago.

“i’ll tell you tomorrow, newt,” credence finally replied, “now get some rest… we both need it.”

and that night, for the first night in months since new york, huddled next to credence, his precious little secret, newt finally got a good night’s sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> there will be a second chapter, focusing more around credence, what he's been up to in canada and how he managed to get to amsterdam, etc. etc. 
> 
> i was talking to imaginingcredence on tumblr and told her that all of the stars by ed sheeran is definitely a crewt song, so i got the idea and went along with this, adapting the fic to the lyrics and all that :D
> 
> also i'm just now realizing that this is my first actual story that i uploaded that wasn't via mobile holy????
> 
> TO THE PEOPLE WONDERING ABOUT ARSONIST'S LULLABY: im working on it!! i've currently hit a big old ugly writer's block and no matter what i do i can't figure out a way to make the chapter progress BUT I PROMISE ILL HAVE IT UP AS SOON AS I FINISH EDITING!! i'm so sorry guys
> 
> follow my tumblr blogs!!  
> bands/fbawtft/aesthetic blog: http://bcttlemen.tumblr.com  
> writing blog: http://hxlena-writes.tumblr.com  
> character aesthetics: http://diegcluna.tumblr.com


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